i usually spend the first few days of the new year focusing my thoughts, goals, and dreams into a few intentions to carry with me through the coming months. everything seems to take a bit longer with a babe, so it seems only fitting that now (seventeen days into the new year) i'm finally putting down on paper my intentions for 2015.
for me, 2014 wasn't a year for achieving goals... at least, not in the sense i'm used to. my pace slowed way down this year, and my time was measured in naps, cuddles, and late-night feedings. having a new baby is a wonderful thing, and i'm so thankful for the beautiful first months we spent together. but i did notice that i lost a big part of myself when i became a mama. the goal-oriented, plan-making, purposeful side of me went into hibernation when my focus turned to nurturing this new little person in my life. my best friend would ask me frequently "what are you up to today?" and even though i knew it was natural, it felt so strange for my responses to be nothing more than playing with toys, taking a walk, and maybe heading to story time at the library (if it was a big day!) and i think i started to resent it a little bit. i would go through periods of guilt for not keeping the house tidier, not teaching any classes, not blogging more frequently, not doing something productive with my days. i want 2015 to be different... phoenix is nine months old now, and getting more independent (i feel like we're mere days away from walking over here!), but i still want to balance my go-getter self with the nurturing mama i've become. so i was pleased when i stumbled upon a free downloadable for my phone's homescreen of a saying designed by the talented mrs. emily ley:
this message greets me every time i turn my phone on, and it is absolutely my mantra for 2015. i know that there will be days when i get to write, clean, plan, and move a step forward in my professional life. and i know that there will also be days when a clingy baby wants me to hold him all day, or i just need to get down on the floor with him and bang pots and pans all afternoon. both are amazing uses of my time, and of course (so valuable to remember) the times where i just need to veg out and watch trashy tv for a few hours after the baby goes to bed is also a necessary use of my time. the important thing is that however i choose to spend my day, i embrace that and live fully in the moment. as i've heard very (VERY) frequently since becoming a mama, this time flies by all too fast. so if i'm not finding joy in my current journey, when will i find it?
i've also made a few simple intentions for 2015. nothing too "goal-y" or "resolution-y", because i don't want to get so bogged down with trying to produce measurable results. instead, i prefer to give my year a feeling, a filter or two through which to gently guide my actions. and so in 2015 i intend to:
~ turn the tv off and pick up a book ~
(whether it's juicy fiction, a non-fiction about my passions, or just a magazine)
~ do a little each day ~
(whether it's tidying, practicing yoga, writing, or anything else,
just remembering that one little step each day
is way more productive than trying to scale a mountain in one big jump)
~ connect with people ~
(mamahood can be pretty isolating, especially with social media
giving us the *illusion* of being connected.
i'd love to spend more of my days with other mamas,
and use my evenings to really spend time with my lifemate)
~ create in the kitchen ~
(having time to cook might be one of the things i miss most
about my pre-baby days. i want to *make* the time as often as possible)
i feel pretty good about this year. i feel good about getting back into my own skin a little bit, finding a new rhythm as a mama, and welcoming some new opportunities.
what are you looking forward to in 2015,
and have you made any intentions or decided on a mantra
to help keep you in line with your view for your year?