i've been spending this year on a sort of personal sabbatical.
i'm working on finding out who i want to be in this life.
as you know, this is my first year out of university,
with a full-time job, and it's also my first year being married.
it's been a lot more emotionally straining than i thought it would be
to spend so much time on myself,
simply taking the time to ponder the things i am interested in,
the things i am passionate about,
and how i can make these things a part of my career and my life.
right now, i don't feel like my job defines me...
i am working with people which i love,
but i'm also doing a lot of administrative work
(which is definitely not something i see myself doing long-term)
and working for an organization that i'm not very passionate about
...but my hobbies are where i pour my heart and soul.
i am so in love with my quiet lifestyle right now
- baking, reading, yoga, writing, and being a newlywed -
and i feel like that is where i'm defining myself right now.
but why is it so necessary for me to define myself at all?
why must i label myself
"good wife"
...why must i be anything in particular?
is it possible to be happy and content with just being "me"?
can i enjoy these hobbies without making them who i am,
without playing into the archetypal roles?
i don't know yet.
i'm hoping one day i'll find a career that just fits with my vibes,
one that i can sink into easily and just be.

what do you identify with?
what makes you "you"?

image from here


  1. By reading this I was going to suggest that you read Eat, Pray, Love, but then I saw you already are! This must have got you thinking, keep going. It's so great. It changed me!

  2. Too often I let other people define myself. I'm going to go work on a blog post now.

  3. It will come to you, but there will never be contentment till you are you!

    Life is good in general, finding yourself just puts the icing on top.
    Keep trying!

  4. I'm still searching! Whenever I think I have ME nailed down I throw myself for a loop...no more labels is it for now :)

  5. Who I am cannot be put into words, because I am much more than that. That goes for everyone. When someone asks you who you are, the best answer is, "Spend time with me and you'll soon find out."

  6. Anonymous3/3/10

    thts what im tryign to find and idk how to find myself... idk what i want to do... i new two years ago even wen i was little but now i dont know....


  7. I think being happy with who we are and just 'being' is an ongoing process. It's natural to ponder, to wonder, to try and work things out and think about who we really are. Well, I think so anyway... I've been doing it for 34 years and I'm sure I will continue to! but that's life, isn't it? To constantly strive to become more comfortable and work ourselves out that little bit more each day...

    Love your blog and thanks for stopping by mine! When I read your 'about me' I really connected with a lot that you said... here's to making every minute count :-)

  8. This is such a perfect post. I always try to figure out a label for myself and end up feeling terrible.

  9. I can definitely relate to this, working in a company that I'm not most passionate about. So to speak, i am not proud of my job description at all, I am thankful for having one, yes. But then again. ._. I hope whatever it is, hope we can figure it out real soon.

  10. i love your blog!! and i really like this post! im not sure just quite who i am yet, but i guess i am learning one day at a time! slowly, but surely!

    take care :)

  11. I'm so glad I found your blog, it's so colorful and upbeat!

  12. i totally understand, meg! my intention for this upcoming year as i finish the last moments of my university career and graduate into the professional world is to find my place in it... i've been exploring myself and the world that we live in - there are so many opportunities, which is exciting, but getting to know ourselves can be challenging!

  13. im kinda in the same boat.. just graduated.. played soccer overseas.. now trying to pursue photography.. what happens if i fail.. i dont know yet who i am i guess.. i have no idea of my potential... or have a i reached it already..

    thank you for this awesome post.. it makes me happy to know im not the only one just kinda collecting a paycheck until i find something (photography) that truly makes me happy.. life is definitely a journey..

  14. I feel ya on this!
    This is my 2nd year out of college, and I'm still struggling with figuring out who I want to be, my career, my love life, etc. etc.

    It's not easy...and I'm not sure it ever gets easier. But isn't life supposed to be about discovering new things and changing ourselves for the better?

    I'm doing a lot of administrative work for a place that is not run by nice people, so I definitely want a better job in the near future.

    Good luck to you! Enjoy being you :)

  15. Anonymous3/3/10

    I can relate to this.

    I think I am just discovering what defines me in terms of a career...and it terrifies me, not gonna lie, because I don't know if I can make it what I want it to be - a full time CAREER. I've always been into photography, but I've always worked at a pharmacy...which I love, but I do not want to do forever. Now that I am actually starting my own photography business, I am in love. I get to do what I love, make my own hours, essentially, and still do all those little things you mentioned - exercising, baking and cooking, spending time with the hubby...

    I think we all struggle with defining ourselves, but I truly think we are always learning...and you just have to - cliche - go with your heart. :)

  16. See and I am the opposite - I usually can label myself...which is odd - it was even odder in High school as it went against the norm.

    Maybe I'm a trailblazer...good luck with whatever you decide to form /unform yourself to!

  17. i'm a bookworm, everybody said that and i think they're right, i even work in a bookstore now..

    But the truth is i don't want to be label..

  18. Though not quite graduated yet, I can sympathize. I've gone to school for 4 years and still can't put my finger on exactly how I want to use my degree afterwards.

    I'm afraid of graduating and getting a job just to pay off debts then get stuck in a rut, "just because it works" and not grow it into something I can be passionate about.

    Trying new things and making myself take on tasks/do things that push me out of my comfort zone tend to keep me from merely "going with the flow."

  19. Anonymous4/3/10

    I know what makes me, me, is doing a fabulous job, traveling, and learning about the world one piece at a time. My job is so not fulfilling any of those things. But my next one will hopefully!

    Also loving life, good family, good friends, and being positive. That's me.

  20. Live as free as you can, love as much as you can, and have as much fun as you can... you would be surprised how much you learn about yourself when you live passionately!

  21. This really resonates with how I am feeling right now. I am getting ready to graduate college in May, possibly (hopefully) continuing on to grad school. But it's such a different atmosphere. New school, new campus, new people. And I'll be working more....It's tough to think about where you've been, where you are and where you want to be going, and mesh it all into one vision of yourself. But to answer your question, part of what makes me "me" is my sensitivity. Sometimes I curse it, being this emotional wreck sometimes. But other times I think, a lot of people in this world could strive to have a bit more empathy for others. Then maybe the world would be a better place. So I'm ok with the fact that I cry during the ASPCA commercials, or at the end of movies that aren't even supposed to be sad, or that I can always see and empathize with both sides of an argument. It's what makes me......"me".

  22. i really connected with this post :) in the last couple of years i've really started to examine who exactly i am/want to be. i think it will always be an on-going process, one that i plan to enjoy and learn from along the way. i say embrace it! it's a lovely thing to be honest and discover who you truly are and are becoming.

  23. I love this, I find myself doing this a lot- and I know that we define ourselves with labels to feel like we fit somewhere, but I am someone who changes always.... so many different things define me.

  24. I've been feeling really similar to this lately! I've been out of student life for just over a year now, and it's hard. I've been married for a while longer (3 years in June), but right around the same time I started working, my husband started traveling for work almost every week. It's meant lots of time to myself as opposed to our newlywed stage I'd gotten so used to. This combined with working at a job that I'm not super passionate about has led to lots of self-reflection lately, and wondering how to get to be *me*. It's a long process, I guess... and yes, it can be really draining! Thanks for sharing, it helps knowing others are feeling the same way!

  25. i so appreciate your honesty meg... your posts always get me thinking introspectively. i definitely find myself in a very similar place.. thinking i need to take more time for myself as you are. thanks for the post!


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