"make the most of yourself,
for that is all there is of you."
~~ralph waldo emerson~~
i've always had a bit of a sensitivity
to receiving criticism.
no one likes to think they're doing something the wrong way,
even constructive criticism which,
as i progressed through my career with the university,
was something that was emphasized as integral
to improving the performance of every employee...
i tend to enter into "performance evaluation" meetings
with my head full of everything i feel i could have done better,
and none of the things i feel i've done well.
i cringe and worry about all the terrible things
my boss will have to say about my performance,
until i am able to register that the stuff we're discussing
usually ends up being predominantly postive
...maybe i am doing a pretty good job,
i guess i've always been the type of person
who is quite hard on herself
- i have high expectations of the work that i am able to produce,
and i am acutely aware of even the minutest of occasions
when something falls short of my ideal -
and hearing any type of
"here's how you can improve"
"maybe you should stop doing/do more of this"
really gets my hackles up
(like a dog backed into a corner)
and i feel a mixture of sheepishness
(as in, "i know this, i should have already fixed it")
(as in, "you can't tell me what to do!")
i'm pondering my tendancy to avoid
because tomorrow is my performance evaluation at work.
and although i know i've been doing a good job,
there are always those little things that have happened
that i feel i could have handled better.
but i'm going to take a deep breath,
and go in there with my head held high.
i have examples of work i've done excellently,
and suggestions for things that i will change in the future.
wish me good luck!
how do you handle constructive criticism?