8/2/11

mindful living mondays: the anniversary post.


{disclaimer: i know today isn't monday,
but yesterday was a holiday in canada,
and it was our anniversary,
so i was too busy enjoying the outdoors
(and then sleeping off my heat exhaustion)
to post. enjoy!}
yesterday, paul & i celebrated our two year anniversary.
on our wedding day, there was no doubt in my mind
that two years from that time,
we'd be celebrating this day.
to be honest, there was pretty much no doubt in my mind
that we'd be celebrating two years of marriage,
even two weeks after we started dating.
looking back over my teenage and young adult years,
i realized that one of the first things i was ever mindful about
was my relationship with paul.
i knew deep in my heart (& my gut)
very early on that he was the guy for me...
because of the way he made me laugh,
the way he engaged me in conversation,
how i wanted to tell him everything and learn everything about him,
the way he made me feel beautiful,
how i noticed that i never got tired of being around him,
how we clicked right away & i just felt home when i was around him.
i knew, and actually remember making the conscious decision,
that no matter how difficult or confusing things got,
this was the man for me and i wasn't going to let go.

and my goodness, am i glad i made that decision.

pretty soon after we started dating,
paul took off for a post-college-graduation trip
with some of his best guy friends.
it was pretty darn hard not to get caught up
in the despair of seeing the love of my life,
(who hadn't really been in my life for all that long)
take off on a long-term, crazy all-guys trip to the other side of the world.
but knowing i had made the decision,
(even just to myself) to stick through any hardships
that we had to face made it so much more bearable.
being consciously aware of how i felt about paul and our relationship
helped us get through a lot of other things
over the course of the five years that we dated, too...
every relationship has its ups and downs, and we were no different.
we faced time doing long-distance,
questions about how to coordinate our various educations,
and fears about commitment, but we got through it all,
and very rarely did my confidence waver.

before we were married,
when we sat in a hot room with a dozen other engaged couples
to attend a "marriage course,"
i learned more officially the importance of
being mindful in your relationship... even once you're married.
being mindful of your relationship means
making an effort every day to make it a priority in your life.
it means making your partner a priority, and not taking him or her for granted.
it means reflecting on your relationship,
deciding what works and what doesn't,
and making a conscious effort to do more of the good stuff and less of the bad.
it means fighting "right" (to solve a problem, keeping emotions in check)
rather than fighting to win.
all of these things are so.much.harder done than said.
but if you want a relationship
where each person feels valued, listened to, genuinely loved,
and where you feel comfortable bringing up anything for discussion,
i have learned that this is how you do it.
...or at least, this is a start.

i know i still have infinite amounts
to learn about being married,
and about us and our relationship,
but making an effort to be mindful every day has gotten us
happily through four years of dating,
a full year engagement, and now two years of marriage,
and it's something i would suggest to anyone in a relationship:
stop.
take some time to reflect on where you are,
and where you want to be.
talk to your partner.
make time for each other, and to listen to each other.
check your judgements (and your temper, as much as possible) at the door.
and above all else, remember why you're together: love.

you love this person more than anything,
so make sure your thoughts and actions reflect that,
every single day.

{image from here}


8 comments:

  1. beautifully spoken meg!! thank you for the reminder to stop and listen. and appreciate. and love.

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  2. congratulations, meg! you and paul have a beautiful marriage.


    at the wedding we shot this weekend, the mother of the bride gave a toast, and said that what she had learned in all her years of marriage: 'if you're going to argue, argue naked'. it was priceless!

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  3. aww such a beautiful post, I am so happy for you sweethearts!

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  4. Congratulations! Beautiful post and I love that you say make your actions and thoughts reflect your love every single day - priceless!

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  5. congrays congrats love this post so lovely!

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  6. So beautiful as always your writing is amazing

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  7. oh wow, I learned a lot from this post. Happy Anniversary to both of you.

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  8. You are truly inspired Meg! Happy Anniversary!

    Mindful Living

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