wow has my perspective changed since yesterday. yesterday i was in the middle of composing a blog post about my need to decompress lately, how i felt like i couldn't get on top of anything, my motivation was lacking, and i just needed a good solid chunk of time to do nothing to get my head back in the right place before moving on with my life. i've had a few life changes over the past few weeks, and i blamed my worn out mind on that. and i left that blog post half finished, because i stalled and didn't even have the motivation to complete it. but then i discovered what the real problem was, by dragging my butt off the couch and heading out to the weekly yoga class that i assist. i had missed last week because momma was here for a visit and i wanted to spend time with her, and i hadn't been spending much time in the yoga studio at all these past few weeks since class ended, because i felt like i deserved a little breather now that the intensity of teacher training was over. and so i stopped going, and i got lost. i forgot how profoundly yoga shakes me to my core, how it gets in and permeates every cell in my body, every thought in my brain, every inch of my soul.
so i went to assist erin's class last night, and as soon as i walked into that hot room it all came back to me. my muscles relaxed, a smile appeared on my face, and i thought to myself "oh yeah, i remember why i wanted to spend all my time here." after i assisted, i stayed for her rock-music power flow class at 9pm, and as the sweat dripped off my body and soaked through my clothes (partially as a result of the combined 30C heat in the hot room and the 30C heat outside, plus about 10 degrees of humidity, and partially as a result of erin's hardcore flow - she gets me every time!) i recognized the feeling of my whole outlook on life changing. with each vinyasa, with each inhale into high lunge or virabdrasana 1, with each backbend, i felt the weight of apathy lifting off of me, and a sense of purpose infusing my being.
after class, i showered and left the studio with a huge grin on my face. i phoned paul and told him i was going to make up a little card, in my own writing, that says "maybe you should go to a yoga class" for him to give me the next time he notices i've fallen off the wagon and am starting to fade away again. he laughed and said maybe that would be a good idea. because i do - i think we all do - need that reminder every once in awhile of the things that really make us feel alive. the things that, when we're caught in that downward spiral of apathy, of too much television, of feeling overwhelmed with life, are the first things we let slide, and the things we pay the most dearly for losing.
for me, those things are yoga (first and foremost!), running, journalling (by hand or here online), reading, spending time on our balcony, cooking & baking, and adventuring. they are the things that, when i'm feeling depressed, tired, annoyed, overwhelmed, or lazy, are the first to get left off my weekly plan. but it's so important to remember that the small amount of energy that i invest in any one of these activities is returned ten-fold in positive attitude, motivation, life satisfaction, and happiness. today i felt like i could take on anything. i journalled in the morning, i made plans to do some housework after work that i've secretly been avoiding all week, and i got in touch with friends that i've been meaning to spend time with. now that i've got this ball rolling again, i don't want it to stop. spending time cozy on the couch is all fine and good for an hour or two, but it's not a life. i choose a life filled with the things that bring me joy and make my soul sing, and after last night i believe more firmly than ever that a good hot yoga class is one amazing gateway to this life.
how about you?
what are the things that make your soul sing?